I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
