So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
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