hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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