I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize