is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
