Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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