Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
