We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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