I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
Dear god my vagina.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
