Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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