im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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