This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize
