it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
