no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
