found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
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