too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Randomize
