talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Randomize
