Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
