apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
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