Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Randomize
