it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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