if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Randomize
