"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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