sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
you made out with another girl for some wings
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize