i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
