i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
