After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
My vagina just recognized that song.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
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