I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Randomize
