you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
