were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
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