the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Randomize
