I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Randomize
