Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
