I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
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