He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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