He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Randomize
