i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Randomize
