PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
it glows. i had to have it.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Randomize