do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
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just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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