I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
is that a dick in a sweater?
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
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