i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
