My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
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