paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
