I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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