I don't usually arrange sex via text message
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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