I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
it was like his penis was on wheels.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
