I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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