There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
