no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
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