It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
