Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
