At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
