Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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