I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Randomize
