Duck Duck Cougar?
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
