I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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