Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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