ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I'm just crazy horny about you
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
