she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
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