I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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