New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
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