he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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