Please, let me fuck your mom
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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