if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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