The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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