you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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